Why Return to the Office? Only If You Want to Spend Less Time with Your Family.
Return to office isn't a scheduling detail. It's a pay cut in family hours. Here's what senior professionals should really weigh before accepting a forced commute back to a cubicle.
Originally shared on LinkedIn: February 3, 2025
My son had a social studies project where he had to debate Amazon's return-to-office policy. His task? Present the pros and cons from different perspectives.
He struggled to find a single "pro."
The irony of his assignment isn't lost on me. Especially since I told my kids about what it was like when I worked at Amazon.
Did I solve cool problems and do meaningful work? Absolutely.
But here's the part I'm less proud of.
The Trade No One Puts in the Offer Letter
When I worked in the office, I'd get up early, catch the bus, spend a full day in meetings, then come home to my 2 and 4 year old children.
You know how much time I got to spend with them? About two hours a day. Maybe.
That wasn't parenting. It was merely existing together.
I asked my kids if they remembered this time. And they don't. They were too little.
What Changed When I Reclaimed My Time
Since I left the daily commute behind, everything is different.
- I'm the one dropping them off and picking them up from school. I get to hear about what's actually happening in their lives.
- I'm at the basketball games. I'm the obnoxiously loud mom yelling "defense!"
- I'm there for laser tag birthdays and musical sing-along parties.
- I haven't missed the little (but turn out to be BIG) milestones.
That is not a lifestyle upgrade. That is the entire point of the career I built.
Why "Come Back to the Office" Isn't What It Looks Like
I've seen the comments. People saying they don't understand why professionals don't want to return to the office.
Let me explain it for them. It's not because employees don't want to work.
- It's because they've proven they can deliver results remotely, without being babysat.
- It's because forcing people into a cubicle for optics is a waste of time, energy, and resources.
- It's because commuting steals precious hours that could be spent pursuing health, happiness, and time with loved ones.
The bottom line? Returning to the office for the sake of returning doesn't benefit employees. It robs them.
The Real Question Behind Every Return to Office Mandate
For years we've been told the goal of a career is to provide for your family. But if your job is stealing time away from that family, isn't something broken?
The pursuit of happiness, connection, and health is not negotiable.
I'll never go back to spending two hours a day with my kids while losing my own joy in the process.
Do you think companies should mandate in-office work, or should employees have the freedom to choose?
What Senior Professionals Do Instead
The senior professionals who get to say no to a forced return to office aren't lucky. They are positioned.
They built visibility before they needed it.
They opened relationships in adjacent companies before there was a job posting.
They operate as the Candidate of Choice, so remote-first employers come to them instead of the other way around.
That is not a lifestyle wish. That is a strategy.
If you're done trading family hours for a chair in someone else's building, close your Hireability Gap™ at TheoryOfHireability.com.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the Theory of Hireability™?
The Theory of Hireability™ is Lindsay Mustain's framework for how hiring actually works in a competitive market. It reframes the job search around a simple truth: you don't get hired by applying more, you get hired by becoming the obvious choice before the role is even open. Hireability is built through visibility, relationships, and positioning as the Candidate of Choice, not through resumes stacked in an ATS.
What is the Hireability Gap™?
The Hireability Gap™ is the distance between what a candidate believes will land the offer (applying, tailoring resumes, chasing job boards) and what actually converts (relationships, visibility, being pre-vetted before the job posts). Most senior professionals lose six to twelve months of their search inside the gap. Closing it is the first step of Intentional Career Design™.
Who is Lindsay Mustain?
Lindsay Mustain is a former Fortune 100 corporate recruiter who spent 16 years, 2001 to 2017, at Amazon, JPMorgan, and 14 other companies. She personally reviewed over a million resumes and hired 10,000+ candidates. She left Amazon after the company declined to automate candidate experience or treat candidates as well as customers, and built Talent Paradigm to teach senior professionals how to land six-figure remote roles without submitting a single application. She's a 2x bestselling author with 20,000+ clients across 121 countries, featured in CNBC Make It, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, and Forbes.
How is a forced return to office effectively a pay cut?
Because the two hours a day of commute time, the gas, the wear on the car, the meals out, and the family hours all come out of the professional's pocket. If the role was successful remote, the commute isn't a productivity gain. It's a cost transferred from the employer to the employee. If the seat matters that much in person, the compensation package has to reflect the added cost. Otherwise it's a quiet pay cut.
